What Is Attachment And Why Does It Matter?
When psychologists talk about "attachment" we are usually referring to the emotional bond (or sometimes the lack of a healthy bond) between two individuals, often between a child and caregiver, but of course, attachment also occurs between adults.
This bond is formed through repeated interactions and experiences and serves as a basis for developing feelings of trust, safety, and security.
As social animals, attachment is a fundamental human need. It is a primary instinct that evolved to ensure our survival and development.
Attachment has several very important functions:
Protection and Survival
As infants, attachment to our caregivers is crucial for survival as it provides us with safety, protection, and nourishment.
Emotional Regulation
Attachment helps us develop emotional regulation, self-soothing, and coping skills.
Social Learning
Attachment provides us with a secure base to explore the world and learn social skills.
Emotional Security
Healthy, secure attachments give us a sense of emotional security and self-worth, which is essential for healthy emotional development.
Unfortunately, unhealthy attachment styles can have a very negative impact on our adult relationships.
This may include:
If you would like assistance for attachment or relationship issues, we welcome you to book an appointment with our Halifax psychologists, or complete the form at the bottom of this page.
We offer both in-person and virtual therapy.
We offer supportive, evidence-based, scientifically validated therapy in Halifax and custom match every client with a therapist who best suited for your needs and goals in counselling.
This bond is formed through repeated interactions and experiences and serves as a basis for developing feelings of trust, safety, and security.
As social animals, attachment is a fundamental human need. It is a primary instinct that evolved to ensure our survival and development.
Attachment has several very important functions:
Protection and Survival
As infants, attachment to our caregivers is crucial for survival as it provides us with safety, protection, and nourishment.
Emotional Regulation
Attachment helps us develop emotional regulation, self-soothing, and coping skills.
Social Learning
Attachment provides us with a secure base to explore the world and learn social skills.
Emotional Security
Healthy, secure attachments give us a sense of emotional security and self-worth, which is essential for healthy emotional development.
Unfortunately, unhealthy attachment styles can have a very negative impact on our adult relationships.
This may include:
- Fear of abandonment
- Loneliness
- Avoidance of intimacy
- Difficulties in expressing needs
- Miscommunication
- Tension in relationships
- Lack of trust in others
- Commitment issues
- Low self-esteem
- Anxiety
- Depression and mood issues
If you would like assistance for attachment or relationship issues, we welcome you to book an appointment with our Halifax psychologists, or complete the form at the bottom of this page.
We offer both in-person and virtual therapy.
We offer supportive, evidence-based, scientifically validated therapy in Halifax and custom match every client with a therapist who best suited for your needs and goals in counselling.
What Is Attachment Theory?
Attachment theory is a psychological theory developed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth that explains this bond between an infant and their primary caregiver, typically their mother.
The theory proposes that the quality of this attachment bond influences the infant's emotional and social development, and that the impact of these early attachments extend into adulthood.
Attachment theory proposes that babies have an innate need for attachment and closeness to their caregivers. However, the quality of this attachment is determined by the caregiver's responsiveness and sensitivity to the infant's needs.
It is believed that the parent's caregiving style influences the infant's sense of security, and ultimately their ability to form healthy relationships later in life.
The theory proposes that the quality of this attachment bond influences the infant's emotional and social development, and that the impact of these early attachments extend into adulthood.
Attachment theory proposes that babies have an innate need for attachment and closeness to their caregivers. However, the quality of this attachment is determined by the caregiver's responsiveness and sensitivity to the infant's needs.
It is believed that the parent's caregiving style influences the infant's sense of security, and ultimately their ability to form healthy relationships later in life.
What Are The Forms Of Attachment In Relationships?
The three most studied forms of attachment are:
Secure attachment This is the healthiest attachment style, and as infants it is characterized by a positive, trusting relationship between the infant and caregiver. The infant easily seeks comfort and support from the caregiver when needed. This secure attachment develops due to consistent and responsive caregiving in early childhood. When we have our needs consistently met by our caregivers (such as being fed, soothed, and comforted when distressed), we develop a sense of trust and security. We learn that our needs will be met and that our caregivers are reliable sources of comfort and support. When we have a secure attachment style, we can trust and rely on others for emotional support. |
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Avoidant attachment
As infants, avoidant attachment occurs when a caregiver is unresponsive or neglecting, causing the infant to withdraw and avoid seeking comfort or support.
When infants experience repeated instances of their needs not being met or their attempts to communicate being ignored, they may learn to suppress their needs and avoid seeking comfort or attention from their caregiver. Out of necessity, the infant learns to prioritize self-reliance and independence over emotional closeness and vulnerability.
Anxious-ambivalent attachment
Anxious-ambivalent attachment is defined by insecure and conflicting emotions in the infant towards the caregiver. The infant may seek closeness and attention from the caregiver, but also feel anger, frustration, or fear, and may show behaviours such as clinging, crying, or even aggression towards the caregiver.
Anxious-ambivalent attachment develops due to inconsistent or unpredictable caregiving. Infants who experience inconsistent responses from their caregivers, such as being sometimes ignored and sometimes over-attended to, may feel uncertain and insecure in this relationship. As such, they may struggle to form secure relationships due to a fear of abandonment or rejection.
As infants, avoidant attachment occurs when a caregiver is unresponsive or neglecting, causing the infant to withdraw and avoid seeking comfort or support.
When infants experience repeated instances of their needs not being met or their attempts to communicate being ignored, they may learn to suppress their needs and avoid seeking comfort or attention from their caregiver. Out of necessity, the infant learns to prioritize self-reliance and independence over emotional closeness and vulnerability.
Anxious-ambivalent attachment
Anxious-ambivalent attachment is defined by insecure and conflicting emotions in the infant towards the caregiver. The infant may seek closeness and attention from the caregiver, but also feel anger, frustration, or fear, and may show behaviours such as clinging, crying, or even aggression towards the caregiver.
Anxious-ambivalent attachment develops due to inconsistent or unpredictable caregiving. Infants who experience inconsistent responses from their caregivers, such as being sometimes ignored and sometimes over-attended to, may feel uncertain and insecure in this relationship. As such, they may struggle to form secure relationships due to a fear of abandonment or rejection.
How Do Attachment Styles Look As Adults?
Secure attachment as an adult
Adults who have securely attached in their early childhood usually have positive views of themselves and others, and feel comfortable in close relationships.
As adults, people with secure attachment tend to:
Adults who have securely attached in their early childhood usually have positive views of themselves and others, and feel comfortable in close relationships.
As adults, people with secure attachment tend to:
- Have healthy relationships which are characterized by trust, respect, and open communication
- Experience a sense of self-worth and are able to regulate their emotions
- Express their needs and boundaries in their relationships
- Seek support from others and are responsive to the needs of their partners
- Have positive attitudes towards intimacy and physical closeness
Avoidant attachment as an adult
Adults with avoidant attachment often have difficulty forming close, intimate relationships and may struggle in expressing their needs and emotions.
As adults, people with avoidant attachment may:
- Have difficulty expressing emotions and vulnerability, leading to a fear of intimacy
- Pull away from close relationships due to a fear of rejection or being hurt
- Struggle with trust and commitment in relationships
- Value independence and self-reliance, rather than support from others
- Struggle to understand and meet the emotional needs of their partners
Anxious-ambivalent attachment as an adult
Adults with anxious-ambivalent attachment may struggle with a fear of abandonment and insecurity in their relationships.
They may experience:
- A frequent need for reassurance and validation in their relationships
- A fear of rejection or abandonment, leading to clinginess or over-attachment
- Insecurity in their self-worth, leading to dependence on their partner for validation
- A tendency to sabotage relationships due to fear of rejection
- Difficulty in setting and maintaining personal boundaries within their relationships
How Can We Help With Relationship Issues?
For clients with attachment or relationship concerns, our psychologists will help you identify and understand your attachment style and how it impacts your emotional development, relationships, and behaviour.
Our therapists can help you understand the origins of your attachment style and can explore early life experiences and subsequent relationships.
Therapy can help you identify and address negative beliefs or patterns of behaviour that may be causing difficulties in your relationships and help you develop a more secure attachment style.
Counselling at Green Leaf in Halifax (individual or couples) will provide a safe and supportive environment for you to explore your relationship history, develop more secure attachments, gain insights into your relationships, and learn skills which will can lead to healthier current and future relationships.
Our therapists can help you understand the origins of your attachment style and can explore early life experiences and subsequent relationships.
Therapy can help you identify and address negative beliefs or patterns of behaviour that may be causing difficulties in your relationships and help you develop a more secure attachment style.
Counselling at Green Leaf in Halifax (individual or couples) will provide a safe and supportive environment for you to explore your relationship history, develop more secure attachments, gain insights into your relationships, and learn skills which will can lead to healthier current and future relationships.
Let's Get Started.
We are conveniently located in Halifax, Nova Scotia and have many clients from the areas of Bedford, Sackville, Clayton Park, and Dartmouth.
We provide in-person and online therapy to all of Nova Scotia and also offer virtual services to clients in New Brunswick.
Please complete our short request form below and we will be in touch asap with appointment options.
Confidential Contact - Counselling / Therapy
Green Leaf Psychological - Halifax, Nova Scotia
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After you submit the form, we will definitely get back to you. However, email is often filtered into junk mail folders by mistake.
To prevent this from happening, please add [email protected] to your list of safe contacts...or make sure to check your spam folder if you don't see a reply in your inbox within 24 hours.
Thanks!
Green Leaf Psychological Services, Inc.