What Is Grief And How Can Therapy Help?
Grief is the natural and (this is important) necessary response to loss, such as the death of someone we love or care about.
If you are reading this because you have lost someone, you know that it is a complex emotional process that includes a range of feelings, such as sadness, anger, guilt, shock, anxiety, fear, and denial. This all very normal and something we will emphasize a few times here.
Grief can cause physical symptoms, such as fatigue, difficulty sleeping, and changes in appetite. When you are grieving (or even if you are actively suppressing grief) it can also lead to social withdrawal, irritability, difficulty concentrating, and a lack of interest in activities you used to enjoy. Although there are some common themes when grieving, it can look very different from person to person.
For supportive and effective grief counselling we welcome you to book an appointment with our Halifax psychologists, or complete the form at the bottom of this page.
We offer both in-person and virtual therapy.
We custom match every client with a therapist who best suited for your needs and goals in counselling.
Are The "Stages Of Grief" Real?
The "stages of grief" is a well-known model developed by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. She proposed that people go through a series of sequential emotional stages when experiencing grief, including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and eventually acceptance.
While the stages of grief model can be a helpful and simple framework for understanding grief, it is very important to note that not everyone experiences grief in the same way, and there is no one correct way to grieve.
Some people may experience some or all of the stages, experience the stages in a different order, or cycle through stages rather than cleanly moving from one to another. Other people may have entirely different emotions and reactions.
There are three main points we wish to make:
1) Grief is a natural process that takes time.
2) Grief should not be suppressed or rushed.
3) Both avoiding grief and becoming "stuck" in grief can have unhealthy psychological and emotional consequences.
While the stages of grief model can be a helpful and simple framework for understanding grief, it is very important to note that not everyone experiences grief in the same way, and there is no one correct way to grieve.
Some people may experience some or all of the stages, experience the stages in a different order, or cycle through stages rather than cleanly moving from one to another. Other people may have entirely different emotions and reactions.
There are three main points we wish to make:
1) Grief is a natural process that takes time.
2) Grief should not be suppressed or rushed.
3) Both avoiding grief and becoming "stuck" in grief can have unhealthy psychological and emotional consequences.
Why Do We Grieve?
We grieve because it is a natural and normally healthy emotional response to the loss of something or someone that we care about.
When we grieve, we allow ourselves to feel and process difficult emotions such as sadness, anger, guilt, and regret.
Through grief, we are able to honour and acknowledge the importance of what we have lost and begin the process of healing and moving on.
When we grieve, we allow ourselves to feel and process difficult emotions such as sadness, anger, guilt, and regret.
Through grief, we are able to honour and acknowledge the importance of what we have lost and begin the process of healing and moving on.
Are There Different Types of Grief?
Yes, there are many types of grief that we may experience.
Anticipatory Grief
Anticipatory grief is a grieving process that happens before a loss, such as when someone receives a serious diagnosis or is facing a long-term illness. With this type of grief, we start to anticipate and imagine our lives without the person before we fully lose them.
This type of grief is often complex, as you may find yourself grappling with the emotional impact of the loss while also dealing with the practicalities of caring for the dying person.
Complicated Grief
Complicated grief occurs when the normal grieving process is disrupted and we have difficulty moving on from the loss. One of the main causes is the intensity and type of relationship we had with the deceased person. For example, losing someone with whom one has had a very close and positive relationship, such as a caregiver or romantic partner, can result in intense feelings of abandonment and emptiness that may be difficult to overcome.
In contrast, if the deceased is someone we had a conflicted, unhealthy, or negative relationship with, we may struggle to make sense of our emotions after the loss ("Why am I not feeling sad?", "Why do I feel guilty about distancing myself from this person for years?"). A lack of social support and access to adequate mental health care can also increase the risk of developing complicated grief.
Delayed Grief
Delayed grief is a form of grief where we experience a delay in the grieving process. Instead of feeling sadness, anger and other emotions related to grief soon after suffering a loss, the person may feel numb or apathetic for an extended period of time. This delay in grieving may occur if the person is experiencing shock, is facing a difficult life situation that makes it difficult to grieve (e.g., not having the time or energy to properly grieve), or has a history of traumatic experiences. It can also occur if the loss is particularly hard for us to accept or make sense of.
Ambiguous Grief
Ambiguous grief can happen when a person experiences a loss that is not clearly defined or recognized by others. For example, this may happen after a miscarriage, the end of a relationship, or the termination of a pregnancy. The mourner may still experience the same feelings of sadness, confusion, and a sense of loss, but may not receive the same level of support and understanding as someone who has experienced a more clear-cut loss.
Anticipatory Grief
Anticipatory grief is a grieving process that happens before a loss, such as when someone receives a serious diagnosis or is facing a long-term illness. With this type of grief, we start to anticipate and imagine our lives without the person before we fully lose them.
This type of grief is often complex, as you may find yourself grappling with the emotional impact of the loss while also dealing with the practicalities of caring for the dying person.
Complicated Grief
Complicated grief occurs when the normal grieving process is disrupted and we have difficulty moving on from the loss. One of the main causes is the intensity and type of relationship we had with the deceased person. For example, losing someone with whom one has had a very close and positive relationship, such as a caregiver or romantic partner, can result in intense feelings of abandonment and emptiness that may be difficult to overcome.
In contrast, if the deceased is someone we had a conflicted, unhealthy, or negative relationship with, we may struggle to make sense of our emotions after the loss ("Why am I not feeling sad?", "Why do I feel guilty about distancing myself from this person for years?"). A lack of social support and access to adequate mental health care can also increase the risk of developing complicated grief.
Delayed Grief
Delayed grief is a form of grief where we experience a delay in the grieving process. Instead of feeling sadness, anger and other emotions related to grief soon after suffering a loss, the person may feel numb or apathetic for an extended period of time. This delay in grieving may occur if the person is experiencing shock, is facing a difficult life situation that makes it difficult to grieve (e.g., not having the time or energy to properly grieve), or has a history of traumatic experiences. It can also occur if the loss is particularly hard for us to accept or make sense of.
Ambiguous Grief
Ambiguous grief can happen when a person experiences a loss that is not clearly defined or recognized by others. For example, this may happen after a miscarriage, the end of a relationship, or the termination of a pregnancy. The mourner may still experience the same feelings of sadness, confusion, and a sense of loss, but may not receive the same level of support and understanding as someone who has experienced a more clear-cut loss.
Can You Grieve Things Other Than Death?
Yes, it is certainly possible to grieve things other than death.
In counselling, clients may grieve the loss of a relationship, a job, a dream, a lifestyle, or even a change in the way they view themselves.
Grieving is a natural response to any type of loss, and other losses can be just as emotionally intense as grieving the death of a loved one. It’s important to acknowledge and allow yourself to feel the emotions that come any kind of grief, and to seek support if needed.
In counselling, clients may grieve the loss of a relationship, a job, a dream, a lifestyle, or even a change in the way they view themselves.
Grieving is a natural response to any type of loss, and other losses can be just as emotionally intense as grieving the death of a loved one. It’s important to acknowledge and allow yourself to feel the emotions that come any kind of grief, and to seek support if needed.
What Is The Difference Between Grief And Depression?
The main difference between grief and depression is that grief is a natural response to a specific loss, while depression is a serious mental health condition that is characterized by persistently low mood, lack of interest or pleasure in activities, and other symptoms such as changes in sleep, appetite, energy levels, and difficulty concentrating.
Grief, on the other hand, is a normal and healthy response to loss, and it is usually a temporary state that should lessen over time as we adjust to the absence of the lost person or thing. Of course, if we do not allow our selves to grieve or cannot move on from grief, this can actually lead to depression.
Grief, on the other hand, is a normal and healthy response to loss, and it is usually a temporary state that should lessen over time as we adjust to the absence of the lost person or thing. Of course, if we do not allow our selves to grieve or cannot move on from grief, this can actually lead to depression.
How Long Does Grief Last?
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There is no set time frame for how long grieving should last. Grieving is a personal process that varies from person to person.
Some people may find that they are able to move on from their grief relatively quickly, while others may take years to come to terms with their loss. Just like there is no "right" way to grieve, there is also no "right" amount of time for grief. That being said... It is normal to start feeling better by a year or so after the loss. Some people find that they are able to move on more quickly (especially with counselling), while others may still be struggling months or even years after the loss. |
There are a fews reasons why someone may get "stuck" in their grief. A common reason is that the person is struggling to accept the loss and may be holding onto the hope that things will return to how they were. They may also have not given themselves enough time and space to properly process their emotions and grieve. Finally, some people may get stuck if they have difficulty expressing their emotions or if they feel they need to be strong and keep their feelings to themselves.
If you feel like your grief is not improving or you are struggling to cope with your emotions, it may be helpful to seek support from one of our psychologists.
If you feel like your grief is not improving or you are struggling to cope with your emotions, it may be helpful to seek support from one of our psychologists.
Brief Grief Questionnaire
1) How much are you having trouble accepting the death of the person you lost?
0 - Not at all 1 - Somewhat 2 - A lot
2) How much does your grief still interfere with your life?
0 - Not at all 1 - Somewhat 2 - A lot
3) How much are you having images or thoughts of the person you lost when s/he died or other thoughts about the death that really bother you?
0 - Not at all 1 - Somewhat 2 - A lot
4) Are there things you used to do when the person was alive that you don’t feel comfortable doing anymore, that you avoid? Like going somewhere you went with him/her, or doing things you used to enjoy together? Or avoiding looking at pictures or talking about the person? How much are you avoiding these things?
0 - Not at all 1 - Somewhat 2 - A lot
5) How much are you feeling cut off or distant from other people since the person died, even people you used to be close to like family or friends?
0 - Not at all 1 - Somewhat 2 - A lot
TOTALS:
A score of 5 or more may suggest the presence of complicated grief.
Asking for support may be helpful.
A score of 5 or more may suggest the presence of complicated grief.
Asking for support may be helpful.
How Can Our Therapists Help With Grief?
Counselling can help with grief by providing a supportive and safe space for the you to express your feelings about the loss and process your emotions. Our psychologists can help you make sense of your grief and find healthy ways to cope with your loss. Counselling can also help you develop resilience and provide support and guidance through different stages of grief.
Additionally, counselling can help you to explore feelings of sadness, regret, guilt, anger, or resentment (if these feelings are present and problematic). Ultimately, we can help you develop closure and acceptance of loss.
Additionally, counselling can help you to explore feelings of sadness, regret, guilt, anger, or resentment (if these feelings are present and problematic). Ultimately, we can help you develop closure and acceptance of loss.
Let's Get Started.
We are conveniently located in Halifax, Nova Scotia and have many clients from the areas of Bedford, Sackville, Clayton Park, and Dartmouth.
We provide in-person and online therapy to all of Nova Scotia and also offer virtual counselling to clients in New Brunswick.
Please complete our short request form below and we will be in touch asap with appointment options.
Confidential Contact - Counselling / Therapy
Green Leaf Psychological - Halifax, Nova Scotia
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After you submit the form, we will definitely get back to you. However, email is often filtered into junk mail folders by mistake.
To prevent this from happening, please add [email protected] to your list of safe contacts...or make sure to check your spam folder if you don't see a reply in your inbox within 24 hours.
Thanks!
Green Leaf Psychological Services, Inc.